Comments on: Elfrita The Landlord

Elfrita The Landlord

ageispolis — Fri, 18 May 2007 13:05:23 -0800

Elfrita used to be my landlord. She would place giant spiders outside my door so they could crawl into my apartment. It was horrifying.

By: ageispolis

ageispolis — Fri, 18 May 2007 13:22:14 -0800

Contains:
- A flute cut from "Sure Shot" by the Beastie Boys.
- Sampled drums from "PhSnix" by Daft Punk.
- An organ sample from "Intervention" by Arcade Fire.
- Some strings courtesy of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.
- A quick reversed vocal sample from Mitch Hedberg.
- Another Beastie Boys flute sample from "Flute Loop".

By: ageispolis

ageispolis — Fri, 18 May 2007 13:47:07 -0800

Elfrita maintained a very intrusive landlord/tenant relationship. Everyday she would bang on the door insistently until someone answered. Ignoring her seemed to have no effect. She actually took my girlfriend and I out for hot chocolate once and was kind enough to provide us with big pieces of sausage and other things we didn't really want. She'd even give us rides to campus... even though we didn't want them. I'd honestly be walking to school, minding my own business, and suddenly I'd hear tires screeching and a crazy old woman flying down the road in pursuit of me. I remember her crashing into the curb with her car, probably knocking off the alignment, and demanding I get inside for a ride. You couldn't say no to this woman.

During an ongoing snowstorm in December she had me shovel her entire driveway in the middle of the night. It was still snowing outside and it wasn't letting up anytime soon. The job took me like two hours and by the next morning the driveway was covered with a fresh foot of snow again. I never did get compensated for that work... Nevertheless, she would invite us upstairs for meatloaf dinners. She would throw on Vivaldi and sing loudly while pouring us cheap German wine. Elfrita's father had fought for the Nazi's in WWII. She seemed to be ashamed of that particular part of her past. I imagine she was a member of The Hitler Youth, although I'm not certain this is true.

One icy day in December Elfrita slipped and landed on her head while shoveling. Neighbors were always saying she was much too old to be doing that sort of work (she was well into her seventies). Yet Elfrita was completely self-reliant. Her age never stopped her from doing what she wanted to do.

I don't know what to think of Elfrita. She was very kind, but very critical and rude. Very giving, but very demanding. She only gave me a fraction of my damage deposit back, but I believe for Elfrita's standards, that was perfectly acceptable.

By: ageispolis

ageispolis — Fri, 18 May 2007 14:40:52 -0800

Oh, and she didn't die from the fall or anything. Elfrita was treated for a concussion and had herself discharged in no time. She was bedridden for a while and emitted the most foul odor I have ever experienced.

By: threetoed

threetoed — Fri, 18 May 2007 15:57:15 -0800

Hahahaha!!! Awesome.

By: gomichild

gomichild — Fri, 18 May 2007 21:28:49 -0800

Good grief!