May 10, 2008 9:31 AM
posted by 31d1 (2 comments total)
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No one was really sure how I could've crashed in space, which is by nature, mostly empty. And when they found me, I had gnawed of most of my leg in order to survive, and not in much of a state to explain the events.
During the brief media fascination with my terrible ordeal, the Washington Post discovered that I had composed some music out there in the crushing void. They had rushed the tracks to Pitchfork but they had been panned. "This music makes me feel like Destroying All Humans," the reviewer wrote, before going on a minor rampage.
They probably would still have tossed off a fluff piece about the space madman's "music" in the Sunday paper, but on Saturday a stunning celebrity breakup took over the news, and I sunk immediately back into obscurity. The virus died out before it could infect the world.