Not Enough to Keep Me Satisfied

I wrote a country song awhile back but never got around to figuring out how it should end. The latest Mefi Music Challenge provided suitable inspiration.

When I learned that you had left my blood turned into kerosene
So I lit a cigarette but not just for the nicotine
Then I opened up my arms and pushed it deep into my veins
I hope wherever you are now you see these aching flames

I burned the edge of town as I shouted out "Doreen!"
I smoldered every point between here and Tennessee
They're still putting out the fires but the damage has been done
And the blister in my heart has only just begun

At night the fever makes me tremble while I lie
But it's not enough to keep me satisfied

A man can do some mean things and the world it will combust
Ignited by the anguish of everything he's lost
Your the the only one for me, Doreen, why did you do me wrong?
Well I stoked the fires blind and then I burned this song

At night the fever makes me tremble while I lie
But it's not enough to keep me satisfied - No
No it's not enough to keep me satisfied

(Get Flash to see the track player.)
posted by quadog (4 comments total)

The vocals are nice, you have an unforced, Steve Earle-ish delivery that works quite well for this. I was going to be a dick about the lyrics, which I find kind of overwrought, but I realized you managed to work in "I burned this song". I remember taking a look at that challenge and thinking "there's no way I could convincingly work that into a song". You've done an admirable job here; I can't imagine a better context for that line.
posted by arcanecrowbar at 4:09 PM on July 18, 2008

Thanks for the thoughtful critique. It seemed like the only way for the song to end would be to burn that too.
posted by quadog at 4:11 PM on July 21, 2008

The vocals are indeed very nice, and it's uncanny how well the Challenge lyric fit into everything else. Like arcanecrowbar, I couldn't visualize how that line could fit into a song, but you pulled it off.

I also love the break before the last verse. It's a breath of fresh air to go to some new harmonic places for a bit.
posted by danb at 1:34 PM on July 22, 2008

Your voice sounds amazing and it fits the song very well. I like the intimate ambiance, the delivery, everything about, really.
posted by micayetoca at 2:46 PM on May 5