Comments on: I Am Truly Fully Licensed Hairstylist

I Am Truly Fully Licensed Hairstylist

Beardman — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:49:19 -0800

An answering machine message to help us live our dreams.

Chococat, since you had a bad day, "I Am Truly Fully Licensed Hairstylist" goes out to you. A.J. Whalen [sic?] has been known to give people some jubilation. "Have an awesome day--buh-bye!"

By: umbú

umbú — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:55:36 -0800

Excellent. I needed something to get "I've been delayed" out of my head. This ought to do nicely.

Wait a second.

What am I going to get this one out of my head?
Tainted love (oh, oooh oh oh)
Tainted love (oh, oooh oh oh)

By: chococat

chococat — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 21:59:33 -0800

Wow. You, truly, have passed my examination for that, sir.
Thank you.

By: mexican

mexican — Thu, 14 Aug 2008 22:22:29 -0800

I like this song so much. So very very much.

By: uncleozzy

uncleozzy — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 05:54:32 -0800

Jesus, I think I've just been hypnotized. This is mind-bending.

By: cortex

cortex — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 09:47:59 -0800

Holy crap, this is great.

By: ardgedee

ardgedee — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 11:47:20 -0800

I'm going to keep this around for when I need cheering up.

By: Jofus

Jofus — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 12:01:34 -0800

Oh holy christ yes.

By: Damn That Television

Damn That Television — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 18:12:09 -0800

Post "Protein Shoes," damn it! Or are you on a scheduled release -- one answering machine classic to MeFi Music each week?

By: tits mcgee

tits mcgee — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 19:12:21 -0800

I am a truly fully licenced hairstylist! This song speaks to me!

By: chococat

chococat — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 22:44:06 -0800

Oh, do you know of Jim Noir? Your stuff has a bit of that sensibility to me. This song specifically reminded me in parts of this one.

Also, looking at your profile page, you live about a 30 second walk from me. Freaky.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 08:25:04 -0800

I actually started crying listening to this. Don't know why. Her excitement just got to me.

By: Felicity Rilke

Felicity Rilke — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 08:31:28 -0800

Just when Azha and Marta thought it was safe to use the interweb again . . . I'm seconding Damn That Television's request for "Protein Shoes."

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 10:33:43 -0800

I really appreciate the way you find the accidental melodies in the way people's voices.

By: Beardman

Beardman — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 11:08:56 -0800

Thanks so much. So very, very much.

P.S.

Tits McGee: you should start playing this for new hairstylists.

Astro: it is a touching message.

Felicity and David Byrne: Protein Shoes is up, by request.

Chococat: according to the map on your profile page, you live in the cookware section of Honest Ed's. Is that true?

By: chococat

chococat — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 17:48:48 -0800

according to the map on your profile page, you live in the cookware section of Honest Ed's. Is that true?

Heh. If only it were true, I'd be first in line to get that free turkey every year.
I used to have it pointing right to my house but I got weirdly paranoid about it and changed it to the nearest local landmark. I'm actually a few streets away from you.

By: schyler523

schyler523 — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 00:00:21 -0800

I can't favorite this hard enough.

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 05:09:21 -0800

Wow, I remember hearing this like 4 years ago and loving it. You're the guy that made it? Wasn't it released as "TAS1000" or something like that, and there was a website featuring it and possibly some other tracks?

By: Ambrosia Voyeur

Ambrosia Voyeur — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 15:00:54 -0800

I have to go throw confetti off a rollercoaster now. Have an awesome day, buh-bye.

By: fogster

fogster — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 19:34:58 -0800

OH. MY. GOD. It's Tas 1000!!

What ever happened to them anyway? I looked years ago and they'd dropped off the face of the planet, and I'd forgotten all about them until today.

Their 'remix' song about a dehumidifier was my favorite ever. They mixed words around to make it sound like one lady was saying, "Give me your dehumidifier!" That was several hard drives ago, though, so it's all gone. :'(

By: mexican

mexican — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 02:55:24 -0800

loved the guitar solo.

By: Beardman

Beardman — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 06:28:18 -0800

Again, I must say I'm astonished that anybody else has heard this. Yes, DecemberBoy, I was one of the four members. Fogster: as to what happened to us...being in a joke band takes its toll. Which isn't to say we didn't start another one as soon as we disbanded this one.

"Dehumidifer"...wow. I forgot all about that song. It was kind of a hard rock riff, and it pitted two callers against each other--they'd both seen Marta's classified ad for a dehumidifer in the Penny Saver, and they wanted it bad. We decided it was cheating to mix words around in Pro Tools, though.

If you listen closely at the start of that guitar solo, Sweet Child O' Mine makes a quick appearance.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:23:05 -0800

This is all demonstrating my theory that if you put something up on the Web, there's a very good chance it is reaching a larger audience than you anticipated.

I have a terrible feeling that a decade from now, on some new discussion board, all of a sudden a lot of people are going to be, like, holy shit, you wrote "They Never Found Her Head," didn't you?

By: fogster

fogster — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:33:33 -0800

We decided it was cheating to mix words around in Pro Tools, though.

Cheating, maybe. Hilarious? Definitely.

Do you still have all the recordings around? It seems that archive.org only got a couple from the site.

By: DecemberBoy

DecemberBoy — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 09:56:06 -0800

This is all demonstrating my theory that if you put something up on the Web, there's a very good chance it is reaching a larger audience than you anticipated.

It was actually kind of a low-end meme briefly around 4 years ago, at least on a few forums I frequented. People would even quote it and work in "I am truly fully licensed hairstylist!" in posts and such.

By: Beardman

Beardman — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 10:49:59 -0800

Oh man--if I ever get around to writing our unauthorized biography, that's got to be the ungainly, but apparently apt, title.

"Kind of a Low-End Meme Briefly Around 4 Years Ago: The TAS 1000 Story".

By: ardgedee

ardgedee — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 13:26:31 -0800

Is this the album? [imeem.com]

By: ORthey

ORthey — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 17:28:19 -0800

God-fucking-dammit, this is really amazing. It almost made me cry as well. Wow.

By: Beardman

Beardman — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 19:40:40 -0800

Ardgedee, one of the astounding anecdotes in the forthcoming book "Low-End Meme" concerns our almost-brush with the Disney corporation. The father of one of our quasi-band's members started a website that became Club Penguin. In a pre-Disney incarnation, there was a little igloo where the penguin avatars of various pre-teens could dance around to an all-penguin house band. This band's repertoire was more limited than most: one verse and one chorus of "I've Been Delayed". We didn't give it a second thought--they needed a song and that was it.

Since discovering from you good MeFites that TAS 1000 was not just a Vancouver/Victoria phenomenon, I ran some Google searches and came up with some disturbing residue of that early presence on Club Penguin. There are now kids from around the world who remember "I've Been Delayed" as part of the good ol' days...like the way the Fresh Prince theme song makes me feel.

And then there are mysteries like this...try reading #5 out loud.

By: Jofus

Jofus — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 07:24:13 -0800

Metafilter Music: Some disturbing residue.

By: Effigy2000

Effigy2000 — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 17:11:18 -0800

I'm in two minds about this song. On one hand, I like the song, and I really like the music, but the line "I have passed my examination" starts to get really annoying after a little while.

So I ask, is there some back story to this track that I'm not aware of? Because it feels as though there is, and that this would help me possibly appreciate the song more.

I also think that this would make a great 'secret track' at the end of some Metafilter Music compilation CD. Just sayin'...

By: Beardman

Beardman — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 20:11:34 -0800

The back story is really just the premise, which can be gleaned, e.g., here and here.

I don't know any more about the particular message than what it says.

But I'm with you 100%...it gets annoying! In a way, that was part of the point. I guess the one thing I'd add is that if you really like the music, keep in mind that it was dictated by the way this person 'sang' her message, from the key to the tempo to the 6/8 time signature in most of the song.

By: February28

February28 — Wed, 10 Sep 2008 18:12:56 -0800

smiling all day because of this one -- thanks :)