Comments on: The Legend of Devin Funck

The Legend of Devin Funck

Astro Zombie — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 17:25:46 -0800

A spoken word piece inspired by ColdChef's post about a Slidell boy who lost his arm battling a monstrous alligator.

THE LEGEND OF DEVIN FUNCK I ain't never known of a lad of such spunk As the alligator fighter, young Devin Funck Who battled a beast way down in Slidell And Devin lost his arm, but Devin lived to tell That in the water of Crystal Lake, lurking below Was a half ton monster by the name of Big Joe. He was a 12-foot lizard from his teeth to his tail And he was spoken of in whispers down in Slidell. But Devin had no fear and Devin he did go Into Crystal Lake, and he faced down Big Joe. Then the alligator lunged and the alligator bit Into Devin's arm from his shoulder to his mitt And he pulled at the boy and he tried to pull him down Into Crystal Lake, where Devin he would drown But Devin he was scrappy and Devin knew to fight And he struck at Big Joe as Big Joe took a bite: Devin struck him in the eye and the beast he did go But took the boy's arm as he swam down below. Devin called for revenge from his hospital bed And the police told Devin that Big Joe was dead. Devin thought a while, and then Devin said: "It takes my arm, I take its head." Devin looked at the stump left by the alligator And said, "I want a robot arm like the terminator." Lizards, if you're listening; beasts, if you can hear: There's a killer out there that should make you slink in fear. He's half machine and he's half Slidell punk: He's the alligator fighter, young Devin Funck.

By: gomichild

gomichild — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 18:49:58 -0800

Awesome.

By: nola

nola — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 19:23:02 -0800

I've got a tear in my eye, and a tear in my beer.

By: fixedgear

fixedgear — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 19:28:03 -0800

Beauty.

By: cortex

cortex — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 19:31:41 -0800

Aw heck. That's just great.

And tempting.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 19:32:37 -0800

Oh, man, you'd make my fucking week.

By: loquacious

loquacious — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 19:37:29 -0800

I think I just had a religious experience. Or an orgasm. What's the difference?

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 19:44:16 -0800

My rabbi once gave me a very stern lecture about exactly that question, and then made me clean the bimah.

By: nola

nola — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 19:51:29 -0800

I don't even know what a bimah is but that made me spit beer all over my keyboard anyway. L'Chayim!

By: umbú

umbú — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 20:05:23 -0800

I bow down to thee. It seems that Devin has been all folks have been talking about around here lately.

Is it just me, or were you channeling W. during a few of the lines?

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 20:08:40 -0800

Yeah. I probably should have been doing a Yat accent instead of a Texas accent. I've been singing too many country songs lately.

But then everybody who isn't from Louisiana would say "Why is he speaking in a Brooklyn accent?"

By: cashman

cashman — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 20:38:32 -0800

Epic. Can't wait to hear the remixes!

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 21:22:17 -0800

Bravo - an epic ballad extraordinaire

By: cortex

cortex — Sat, 23 Aug 2008 22:02:51 -0800

Temptation got to me.

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Sun, 24 Aug 2008 04:15:35 -0800

You are excellent.