Comments on: Why

Why

tmcw — Sun, 31 Aug 2008 19:21:19 -0800

Came up with this song yesterday, and I sort of like it. A departure.

Criticism requested and welcomed! Thanks. Why'd you wait till I stopped breathing? Couldn't hear you say a word Water vapor boils and freezes Condensation fills you up Is this all just endless dreaming? Will we all just wake up soon Is this all just endless thinking Which we all just love to do

By: cortex

cortex — Tue, 02 Sep 2008 11:04:08 -0800

Very pretty. I like how the melody just stays perpetually unresolved; it kind of feeds into the overall dreamy feel of the recording.

The initial transition from the first part to the second, right after the first stanza? It feels a little tentative, like, "hey, hmm, I guess, I guess this is the next part?" or such. Not necessarily bad, and possibly how you wanted it to feel, but I found myself expecting it to cut over more confidently when I first listened to it.

By: edlundart

edlundart — Wed, 03 Sep 2008 21:34:02 -0800

This is pretty interesting, lyrically and musically. I like the melody and the singing style, though overly pitchy in places (I like the pitchiness to a point). I thought the guitar playing was pretty great, it felt really... natural and unlabored. It could be EQ'd a bit, I think.

By: AppleSeed

AppleSeed — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 18:20:38 -0800

Not sure why you threw the physics lesson in there, but it gives the lyric a nice jolt, if that's what you're after. Another verse and another day away from fruition - you're on to something.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 07:09:01 -0800

I rather like the tentativeness of it; it works well with the song's lyrics and the occasionally halting delivery on the part of the arrangement and the singing. This song quickly establishes a mood, but it's a mood of enormous ambivalence, and that's really hard to represent musically. I think you succeeded here.