My List of Love

Another song for tweens

We've been going out now for a while
Let me show you how I feel
Here is my list of love

As you can see it is a spreadsheet
You can see how well you score
Physical attributes are pages one to four.

You lose points to Miley Cyrus
because she has better gums.
You lose a couple more to Jedward
because they seem much more fun.

And Justin Bieber's dance moves
sure put yours to shame
and Grayson Chance he beats you too
he's got a better name.

Oh don't despair my love,
there are categories you win.
I love your fragrant shoes
and the wideness of your chin.

I love the way you eat bananas
and your fear of ripe tomatoes
and I know I've never told you
But I really like your hairdo

I like other hairdos more of course
but you're still in the top five
I like Cheryl, Dannii, Britney
and Winehouse's beehive

You rate higher than a hamburger
but less than chicken dippers
I love you more than Thai food
but not more than the chipper

You're prettier than Paris
But not as cool as Rome
You're more exciting than an essay
But more boring than a poem

Cats and dogs and hamsters
could never take your place
but a monkey or a shark
would make me forget your face

I've added up your score
Are you sure you want to hear it?
It's worse than I expected
but still better than my Ex did.

Please don't get offended
I won't try to defend it
In my list of love
baby, you're twelfth.

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posted by minifigs (4 comments total)

These tween songs are terrific, minifigs... how did you come to compose them? It's extremely hard to do this kind of thing without falling into the novelty song trap, but these are rather clever and really tap into the tween gestalt without trying to be cute (as opposed to the Barenaked Ladies, for example). I always think it's hard for these kids, stuck between their younger siblings and the kool kids at high school, but it's also a wonderful age where innocence and knowingness co-exist -- your songs have just the right amount of sly fun in them.
posted by unSane at 9:26 PM on November 10, 2010

That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me! Thank you.
A good friend of mine got a job in RTE which is Ireland's national broadcaster and he kind of dragged me along for the ride. He started off on a youtube show called Apartment Red and got me to do various jingles and beds for that. Red got a spin off youtube show called The Quest for Many Hats that I did music for and an Apartment red radio show that I did jingles for as well. Then he got asked to make a documentary for the European Broadcast Commission's documentary series aimed at kids which contractually has to feature all original music so I scored that as well. From that he got the job of launching a new tri-weekly tween show and he decided he wanted a song once a week about some aspect of 9-15 year old culture and I got the job.
Unfortunatley the videos are proving kind of expensive to make so the initial run of twelve songs might be all that get made unless we can come up with a way to do cheap You Can Call Me Al type videos for twelve weeks that are also visually interesting and funny.
posted by minifigs at 2:52 AM on November 11, 2010

Okay, this rules. "I like other hairdos more of course" -- ha!

I'm a big sucker for bell sounds.

Are those videos up anywhere on the internet yet?
posted by Karlos the Jackal at 1:01 AM on November 13, 2010

Yep.

Skater Girl
Super Emo Disco Party
The Restless Vampire
The World's Greatest Soap
Luigi's Lament

That's the five that are up so far. There's a Ghostbusters song and nerd pride song still to come, after that it's up to the budgetary lords at RTE.
posted by minifigs at 3:40 PM on November 16, 2010