I wrote this song on New Year's Day. There are some things I love about it and some things I don't entirely. Help me figure out what to do with it.
Okay, for a start, this is rough as a badger's arse, so there's that. Everything's a placeholder, especially all the guitar wank and my drumming which is live on the e-kit.
Second, I really like the verses. I have a few changes to the second verse but nothing major.
The chorus is what's bothering me. For a start, I don't like 'sometimes we fly so high'. Fuck that, Celine Dion. Perhaps we could touch the sky, who knows? Maybe 'riding high' or something? As it is, my cheese-meter jams into the red on that line.
Then my pal John complains about the chord sequence in the chorus. The verse sequence ends on V and then the chorus goes ii-V-I-IV-iii-ii-V-VII and so on. He hates the ii-V-I ('we live and learn') it begins with and says it's cheap and predictable.
I'm OK with it as I think cheap and predictable might be a plus but I get his point. ii-iii sort of works with the same topline as does ii-IV-iii, but they're not quite as punchy.
I like the way the ii-V-I leads the IV-iii change, ('sometimes we crash and burn') which is money to me.
The main thing is that (unusually) the chorus seems to get old really fast, whereas you could listen to the verse all day.
I was thinking of instead of going for a double chorus after the solo, just doing one chorus and then coming back for another verse. What do you think? Any other comments?
I can hear a whole hunk of harmonies in the chorus but I'm not sure enough about this yet to start tracking it for real. Have at it.
I can post a chart for it if that helps.