5 posts tagged with blaseball by cortex.
Displaying 1 through 5 of 5.

Jaylen (Please Don't Bean My Man)

A song about brought-back-from-the-dead Blaseball pitcher Jaylen Hotdogfingers whose beanballs now convey a deadly and contagious ailment to anyone she hits. Lyrics by @phasmantistes, and apologies once again to Dolly Parton. [more inside]
posted by cortex on Sep 17, 2020 - 3 comments

Better Watch Your Step (It's The Charleston Shoe Thieves)

A jazzy bit of fair warning, from the Charleston dugout's own Esme Ramsey Quartet. Featuring Esme on vox and upright bass, Joe Voorhees on piano, Gunther O'Brian on drums, and Antonio "Bony" Wallace taking a solo on his own xylophonic ribcage. [more inside]
posted by cortex on Sep 3, 2020 - 1 comment

Let Me Into The Blaseball

While most recording equipment is destroyed by the ambient cosmic horror rays that suffuse a typical blaseball game, we've unearthed a rare crowd sing-along performance captured on hand-carved vinyl by an especially stalwart Charleston Shoe Thieves fan. Here, then, is "Let Me Into The Blaseball", an absolutely legally non-infringing original song that blaseball fans have been known to sing in what short time the Blaseball Gods choose to grant them. [more inside]
posted by cortex on Aug 16, 2020 - 5 comments

A Grand Unslam

More music about Blaseball, this time the story of the time Morrow Doyle hit a grand slam in the 15th inning and shattered the universe. Time went backward, the play got erased by timelords, and the Shoe Thieves and their Event-sharing rivals Breath Mints have played one more game than the rest of the league, a game lost in an alternate branch of reality.
posted by cortex on Aug 7, 2020 - 5 comments

Workman 9 to 5

A little bit of a song about Charleston Shoe Thieves player Workman Gloom, their dog and teammate (and Shoe Thieves pitcher) Beasley Gloom, and the life that is stealing shoes and playing blaseball. [more inside]
posted by cortex on Aug 5, 2020 - 4 comments

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