What Does the Latke Say?

Hint: it doesn't like the oil. (but it has no problem with auto-tune...)

Here are the lyrics - feel free to distribute and sing as you joyfully eat fried foods:

Matzah goes crunch
Groggers go whirr
Shofar goes toot
And lulav goes shake.

Soup goes slurp
Wine goes sip...
And the matzah ball goes plop

Gelt goes clink,
Candles burn,
And the driedel sov, sov, sov

But there’s one sound
That no one knows…
What does the latke say?

grate-grate grate grate grate grate grate
grate-grate grate grate grate grate grate
grate-grate grate grate grate grate grate
What the latke say?

glub-glub-glub-glub-glub-glub-glub-
glub-glub-glub-glub-glub-glub-glub-
glub-glub-glub-glub-glub-glub-glub-
What the latke say?

Hot-ee! hot-ee! hot-ee! oil!
Hot-ee! hot-ee! hot-ee! oil!
Hot-ee! hot-ee! hot-ee! oil!
What the latke say?

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
What the latke say?

Peel and slice,
Grate through holes
Chop and dice
And into oil

Apple sauce,
Sizzling still
Suddenly I’ve had my fill

You’re golden brown
So beautiful,
Like a hash brown in disguise

But if I eat,
Endless scores
Will I still fit through the

Do-o-o-o-ors
Do-o-o-o-ors
Do-o-o-o-ors?

I’ll put sour cream on
Sco-o-o-o-res
Sco-o-o-o-res
Sco-o-o-o-res
What does the latke say?

Ouch-ouch-ouch-ouch-ouch-ow!
Ouch-ouch-ouch-ouch-ouch-ow!
Ouch-ouch-ouch-ouch-ouch-ow!
What the latke say?

Freakin-freakin-freakin hot!
Freakin-freakin-freakin hot!
Freakin-freakin-freakin hot!
What the latke say?

Nun-gimmel-hay!
Nun-gimmel-hay!
Nun-gimmel-hay!
What the latke say?

Ma-a-a-ao-tzur!
Ma-a-a-ao...
What does the latke say?

The miracle of oil,
Amazing Maccabees
Fought to keep being Jews
So now we’re frying,
Crispy and round.
While the candles glow
Will always be a tasty treat
What do you say?

You’re my greasy symbol
Reminding us to be good
What is your sound?

[Latke scats dreidel song]

Will we ever know?
I want to
I want to know!

• play
• pause
• min volume
• max volume

posted by ericbop (2 comments total)

This hit a range of emotions. Disbelief that I clicked play, laughter, and finally hunger.
posted by pianissimo at 5:20 AM on November 25, 2013 [1 favorite]

Delicious!
posted by comealongpole at 3:16 PM on November 25, 2013