Song of the Cane Toad

Part of my Old Songs project, where I record song I wrote years or even decades ago. This song tells of the disasterous introduction of the Hawaiian Can Toad to Australia, for some reason.

Well, obviously there was a time when I felt a need to sing about Bufo marinus, for some reason. That time was about 1988, if I recall right, and I had stumbled across a book that told the story of the Cane Toad's disasterous introduction to Australia. Back in those days, it seems, I just went ahead and wrote songs about whatever the hell I was reading at the time, and, looking back on the songs that emerged as a result, this actually seems a pretty good approach.

Apparently, I also thought a Roger Miller-styled uptempo country number would be the best way to tell this story. I'm not sure I was wrong, either -- Australian pop songs like "Pub With No Beer" and "Tie Me Kangaroo Down, Sport" always sort of sounded like Roger Miller ditties to me.

Anyway, the lyrics actually are a pretty good representation of the experiences of Australians dealing with an imported and biodiversity-destroying alien species of enormous and mildly hallucinogenic toads.

"SONG OF THE CANE TOAD" LYRICS:

There was money in sugar so it was farmed in Brisbane
But the Grey Back Beetle could eat a thousand ton of cane
We picked beetles off of cane stalk till our buckets overlowed
Then we brought out to Queensland the Hawaiian Cane Toad

Mr. Bell said the toad would eat grub off the plant
But the Greyback can fly and the Bufo toad can't
And they're useless anyway because they won't go near the cane
And there's poison in their neck that drives a biting dog insane

The toads have been known to steal and swallow smokes
Which they snatch from the hands of New South Wales folks
And they're mean and they're hungry and they're always in the road
From the Gold Coast to the Round House it's the Hawaiian Cane Toad

(Get Flash to see the track player.)
posted by Astro Zombie (11 comments total)

Bo-d'li-d'lay-d'li-d'lo, I saw the funny documentary a little while ago. (Cool ditty!)
posted by not_on_display at 2:11 PM on June 23, 2008

Nice one, AZ. This is very charming! Gotta love a line like "And there's poison in their neck that drives a biting dog insane".

And I hope you won't take this the wrong way, but I'm really glad to hear you sing in a style that doesn't channel Tom Waits.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:15 PM on June 23, 2008

My boss' home town is Grodonvale, up in Far North QLD, where the Cane Toad was introduced (so not Brisbane). They actually have a Cane Toad Museum up there, one of those quirky things that small towns do to attract tourists. It's nothing fancy... essentially it's just a shack with a stone cane toad statue in it.

They're a major pest, to be sure, but they have a larger purpose in that they make great fodder for amusing CGI videos.
posted by Effigy2000 at 5:40 PM on June 23, 2008

When I play some of my mp3s, it sounds like Tom Waits to me too, but when I sing it, in my head, it sounds like Jimmy Durante.

I'm not a trained singer, so, in the way that Robert Mitchum had only two styles of acting, on a horse and off, I only have two styles of singing: barking and warbling. This one is a warble with a bit of Hillbilly thrown in.

Thanks for everyone's comments. I really appreciate them.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:16 PM on June 23, 2008

By the way, I meant to add that this is a nice enough song, but I have one minor niggle... one an American can be excused from not knowing. Brisbane is actually pronounced as 'Briz-bin', so it doesn't naturally rhyme with 'cane'.
posted by Effigy2000 at 7:09 PM on June 23, 2008

Brisbane is actually pronounced as 'Briz-bin', so it doesn't naturally rhyme with 'cane'.

In all fairness, it should be noted that historically, words have very often been knowingly mispronounced in song, in order to fit a rhyme scheme. I think that may be particularly true in the case of place names. AZ might've been taking a little of that time-honored poetic licence.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:22 PM on June 23, 2008

I suspect Australians don't sing with a faux-southern American accent either.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:52 PM on June 23, 2008

But, then, I've never been.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:52 PM on June 23, 2008

Yeah, look, no offence intended. I really do like the song... it's nice, so take heart! The pronounciation thing was just a minor little thing I thought I'd mention.
posted by Effigy2000 at 8:45 PM on June 23, 2008

Actually, I appreciate you mentioning it. I'm always interested in the way things are pronounced in various places. When I lived in New Orleans, I spent a lot of time memorizing the strange NOLA pronunciation of various streets.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:11 PM on June 23, 2008

I'm not a trained singer, so, in the way that Robert Mitchum had only two styles of acting, on a horse and off

Which of those styles did his calypso singing fit? I hope it was "on a horse."
posted by louche mustachio at 11:12 PM on June 23, 2008