Minnesota Porn

Courtney McClean & The Dirty Curls present a decidedly not-safe-for-work ode to porn stars and filmmakers from Minnesota.

LYRICS:

I got me a DVD from Lickety Split
On this frigid January morn
On these fucking Minnesota winters
I got my teevee to keep me warm
Maybe my lubricant is cold as ice
And my vibrator's well-worn
But if there is one thing that will get me hot
It's watching Minnesota porn

Chorus:
I've transgressed while watching films by Celeste
And nobody makes me thrash like Nikita Cash
And when the girls won't do
And I want something new
I watch boys, two by two
In films by Chi Chi LaRue

To avoid the murderous windchill
We go out dressed up like spacemen
You got to cover all your exposed skin
When the temp'rature reaches negative ten
And if you want to see ass and titties
What you supposed to do then?
I forget what people look like naked
Minnesota porn reminds me again

I've trangressed while watching films by Celeste
And nobody makes me thrash like Nikita Cash
I could go all night with Venus DeLight
And my whole body aches for Christi Lake
And when the girls won't do
And I want something new
I watch boys, two by two
In films by Chi Chi LaRue

BRIDGE:

Some folks go chop wood
And fuck by a roaring fire
Me, I turn to adult movies
To make my skin perspire
Just a glimpse of those Minnesota girls
Gets my temperature higher
Just put on some Minnesota porn
That's all that I require

I got me a DVD from Lickety Split
Think Ill go back and get some more
I get jolts of joy from one video
Imagine what Id get from four
If thats not how to heat things up
Then what the hell is winter for
Give me more of Minnesota porn
Its what I adore

I've trangressed while watching films by Celeste
And nobody makes me thrash like Nikita Cash
I could go all night with Venus DeLight
And my whole body aches for Christi Lake
I'd happily kneel for Shaena Steele
And I get sore for Erin Moore
I'll share my boudoir with Mandy Star
Julia Kruise just screws and screws
And I'd go lez for Sky Lopez
And Sophia Staks is due for a comeback
Candy Roxxx gives me pleasurable shocks
And I cry out the names: Wendy James
And when the girls won't do
And I want something new
I watch boys, two by two
In films by Chi Chi LaRue

Lyrics and bass by yours truly; melody, banjo, and lead vocals by Courtney McClean; washboard by Coco Mault.

There is also a video for this song, shot live on location at Sex World in Minneapolis. Please enjoy.

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posted by Astro Zombie (1 comment total)

This is the story of my life here in Vermont wintern
posted by jessamyn at 2:58 PM on February 13, 2012