Aram's Concubines

Sailor Martin, a tattooed and pierced sailor puppet, sings a convoluted and inadvertently homoerotic parable about a scimitar battle in an Arabian harem. Original public domain instrumental recording by Kaplan's Harmonists, recorded in 1923. New lyrics and Sailor Martin's voice by yours truly. More about Sailor Martin here.

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posted by Astro Zombie (6 comments total)

The lyrics:

Old legends tell us of a city called Aram
I traveled camelback to the sheik's harem
The sheik he caught me with his favorite concubine
Favorite concubine
Wed when she was nine

An Arab potentate
Named Abdul the great
I had made him quite irate
Oh stupid me
He was calling for my head
Or for other parts instead
He drew his scimitar on me

He said, you see how long and cruel
it is, this killing tool
This rapier will impale you, ear to rear

While brandishing his tool
The potentate Abdul
He declared I was a fool
And we should fight
But his temper it grew cooler
I was longer and was crueler
I drew my scimitar on him

He said, I see you have a blade
the sort for which I've often prayed
Your machete is an awesome display

the sheik he spun then like a dervish in the sand
There would be fluids spilt on foreign land
Our blades would lock and we would battle until death
Battle until death
Until we drew our mortal breath

Our hands upon our lances
We parry and we dances
We retreat and advances
Before the sheik's harem
They watch each deadly lunge
And cheer each killing plunge
I thrust my scimitar into him

He said Alas, against your lance
Sheik Abdul stood no chance
I succumb and to you I give my harem

And now each night I procreate
I am the potentate
Haram's best concubines
Are mine -- all mine
posted by Astro Zombie at 4:38 PM on December 9, 2006

Hey, Astro, cool concept, well executed. Kudos! Your Sailor Martin thing is wonderful. I hear you channeling Tom Waits a little there, but not so heavily that it's bad. I think you're channeling him selectively, so it's a-good!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:25 AM on December 11, 2006

Thanks!

There's a lot of Jimmy Dutante coming through too.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:38 AM on December 11, 2006

i think i've heard of this puppet before. he gets around, eh?
posted by DngMouse at 10:42 PM on December 11, 2006

Yeah he do.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:01 AM on December 12, 2006

I like these too, and I wouldn't fault Sailor Martin if he was an even meaner drunker bastard than he already is.
posted by Area Control at 5:06 PM on December 13, 2006