Ugly Bugly Tuna Wiggle

August 8, 2008 8:38 AM

It's about a bug who likes casseroles. No instrumentation because I don't play anything.

posted by cog_nate (9 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

Reminds me of Big Rock Candy Mountain. This is nice. You could almost just sample banjo and loop it randomly in the background and it would work.
posted by dobie at 8:46 AM on August 8, 2008

This is adorable. And the audible stops between verses somehow strikes me as incredibly charming. Lo-fi forever.

I won't make anything like a personal guarantee here, but I think trying to set some instrumentation under this could be a lot of fun.

This'll be my...END

posted by cortex at 9:47 AM on August 8, 2008

Hey yeah, some accompaniment would be great.

Ugly bugly Tuna Wiggle
never got called cute, never made kids giggle,
he spread disease and ate like a pig, 'lil
ugly bugly Tuna Wiggle.

Tuna Wiggle's family live in walls
and scuttled down dim trash-strewn halls,
but if anyone turned on a light
Tuna Wiggle's family ran out of sight.

Tuna Wiggle's body was glossy and brown
and caused anyone who saw it to frown.
He had goofy antennae pointing to the sky
and his wings were vestigial so he couldn't fly.

One night young Tuna Wiggle was itchin'
to get him some grub so he went to the kitchen
and what did he find sitting in a bowl
but some smelly leftover fish casserole.

Well Tuna Wiggle went to take a big bite.
He got, instead, an enormous fright;
someone trapped him in an upturned glass.
Thought Tuna Wiggle, "This'll be my ass END."

Tuna Wiggle's captor said, "What'll I do?
Cut him up or smush with a shoe?"
Then all of a sudden he had a new thought
about what to do with the bug that he caught.

He dropped Tuna Wiggle right in the bowl
of the smelly, lumpy casserole
and around the bowl he wrapped a plastic bag
because the stink was making him gag.

He took Tuna Wiggle to his school
Because he thought it would be so cool
to show his students and give them a scare
that would make them soil their underwear.

Well Tuna Wiggle settled right in,
If he had lips, he'd be wearing a grin.
Eating casserole and tunneling away
was his favorite way to spend each day.

After Tuna Wiggle grew fat as can be
the students learned that he was a she.
Tuna Wiggle squatted and twitched her legs
and pumped out dozens and dozens of eggs.

This brought Tuna Wiggle schoolwide fame,
as a matter of fact, that's how she earned her name.
As her eggs hatched the bowl appeared to wriggle
and all the kids screamed, "Gross! Tuna wiggle!"

Oh ugly bugly Tuna Wiggle
never got called cute, never made kids giggle.
When she died her brood ate her (they weren't fickle),
poor ugly bugly Tuna Wiggle.
posted by cog_nate at 12:12 PM on August 8, 2008

Hey cog_nate, thanks for posting this!
posted by snsranch at 3:45 PM on August 8, 2008

You had me at "his wings were vestigial so he couldn't fly."
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:52 AM on August 9, 2008

The pauses got me hooked.
posted by haunted by Leonard Cohen at 6:27 AM on August 10, 2008

(Please note, anyone who is considering playing this for their kid(s), the word that rhymes with grass does not make an appearance in the song. I made a stupid cut/paste error.)
posted by cog_nate at 10:47 AM on August 11, 2008

Those pauses totally remind me of the second song on Captain Beefheart's 'Trout Mask Replica', "The Dust Blows Forward 'n the Dust Blows Back".
posted by Beardman at 6:57 PM on August 12, 2008

posted by AppleSeed at 7:42 PM on August 19, 2008

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