All Undone

For this month's MeFiMu Challenge, here's a song first written in 1986 and first recorded and released in 1991. This version was recorded earlier today. Rewrote the last verse. The old is new again...

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posted by flapjax at midnite (10 comments total)

ALL UNDONE


i've changed trains in a trance
lived in little rooms
i'm all at odds
and you think i'm just a lazy bum

you've swallowed all my pride
fought the gentle breeze
you're all undone
and i think you're working
way too hard

i've burned up all my goddam bridges
lent out all my books
i'm all to blame
and you think i've given up the fight

you've smoothed out
all your best rough edges
torn up all your sails
you're all brought down
and i think you've crossed
the last thin line

copyright Samm Bennett / Directional Music (BMI) All rights reserved.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:48 AM on May 19, 2009

flapjax, I love how the most of the groove is up in the high treble frequencies. Once again, you've reminded me of how important it is for a rhythm to breathe. It reminds me of walking through a forest, and knowing that the pattern of leaves is never, ever going to be exactly the same as you walk along.
posted by umbú at 8:34 AM on May 19, 2009 [1 favorite]

This is awesome! I am really really pleased at the response to this challenge so far... way more than I expected, and the month is not yet done. I'll have to get off my ass and do mine as well.
posted by ORthey at 12:06 PM on May 19, 2009

Yea, this is SUPER tight! (to borrow a phrase from my kids.)

I love your lyrics. They remind me a lot of MY 1986. And, wow, you're setting the bar pretty high for "old" or "early" songs! I was expecting some lyrics that were kinda rudimentary! (And not necessarily from you, but in this challenge.) Ha! Thanks for sharing this man!
posted by snsranch at 6:32 PM on May 19, 2009

Your rhythms are always expertly created, but this one really works for me. I especially love that high tone that keeps working along with the beats. I guess it's a beat too, but yeah, it's just so full of life.
posted by edlundart at 8:40 PM on May 21, 2009

That high tone, edlundart, is either the small cowbell (which is a G note, in tune with the drone, and panned to the right) played with a mallet, or perhaps you're referring to the other little bell (panned to the left) which is also a G note. That one isn't struck, but has a clapper inside, and it's played rhythmically, like a shaker.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 11:38 PM on May 22, 2009

Absolutely great vocal - really impressed (and not a little envious). The song doesn't really have a hook though - it's a groove that seems to stay on one plane.....kind of unresolved? I'll listen out for more of your stuff.
posted by MajorDundee at 2:46 PM on May 29, 2009

Needs a snare on 2 and 4
posted by Zenabi at 1:17 AM on June 21, 2009

If I may speak my mind...

Execution gets a score of 9 out of 10.

Engineering is great, as always.

But, there seems to be a meticulous aversion to melody.

A vague aversion to melody is cool...a meticulous one renders things bordering on the unlistenable for any sustained period of time.

Lyrics are contrived.

Hope to hear some more soon.

We live and learn.

All the best,
Tim
posted by Zenabi at 1:56 AM on June 21, 2009

zenabi, allow me to address your comments individually:

Needs a snare on 2 and 4

That'd be original.

Engineering is great, as always.

Thanks.

But, there seems to be a meticulous aversion to melody.

No, no meticulous aversion. I've just got a tin ear. Couldn't melodicize myself out of a paper bag.

A vague aversion to melody is cool...a meticulous one renders things bordering on the unlistenable for any sustained period of time.

Sorry to not meet your criterion for cool. I suggest that from here on out you do not listen for any sustained period of time to my unlistenable music. See? It's simple!

Lyrics are contrived.

No they're not.

Hope to hear some more soon.

You know, zenabi, since you've also just sent me some MeFi mail informing me that you couldn't find a single hook in any of my songs and that therefore you don't consider me a particularly good songwriter, I wouldn't get my hopes up. I really don't think you're gonna like my stuff. And you needn't send me any more mail informing me of your dislike of my music, OK? Your opinion has been duly noted.

We live and learn.

Hopefully.

All the best, Tim

You might've noticed that no one else on this site signs their name at the end of comments. I'm not saying you should stop, but I just thought I'd bring that to your attention.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 2:27 AM on June 21, 2009