Kylie vs. The Ex

May 1, 2010 9:12 AM

A heart-breaking tale of love, loss and relatively famous Antipodean sirens.

This is my first time using Garageband - (or as I'm calling it, GRARageband). I wrote this song many years ago and decided that, as its the song I know best, it would be my first foray into home recording.

All of it is recorded using the Macbook's internal mic - which doesn't suck nearly as bad as I thought it might. The theremin/autoharpyness in the middle is done by mashing my fingers against the screen with Bebot and that's about it.

Like all truly heartbreaking country songs, this one is half true: At the time I wrote this, I would have given Kylie away for this girl.


There's only one I've seen,
Came even close to you,
And she was writhing in,
A chart-pop video

But you've got a nicer smile;
She can't compete with you,
But she'll do as temporary,
Since you and me are through.

I'd take her home with me,
After her album launch
She'd snuggle up to me,
Say that she loved my paunch*

She'd make sweet love to me
Like in her video
She'd say she loved me,
In whispers soft and low

Kylie, Kylie what's the use in trying
All the while my love is surely dying?

[Inexplicable Bebot solo]

Then I'd explain to her,
And in a trembling voice,
She'd nod and understand,
She was my second choice

And when the morning came,
She'd go and leave her key,
And then at lunchtime,
Maybe you'd come back to me.

* Yeah, the old Launch/Paunch combo. Deal with it :)

posted by Jofus (9 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

Oh, and hey, I can't seem to work out how to trim the 4 seconds of dead air from the start of it. So I'm pretending it's deliberate, OK?
posted by Jofus at 9:14 AM on May 1, 2010

Love the lyrics. Married the Bebot solo.
posted by chrismear at 9:51 AM on May 1, 2010

Holy shit. So great.
Why don't you post more? I'm dying here, from your voice.
Just great.

You can trim the time 2 ways:
Either select every track and then drag everything over to the left, to wherever you want it to start; or click on the "loop" button down at the bottom and this will let you select your in and out points via a little yellow bar that will be at the top of your timeline. Then click "share" and Bob's your uncle.
posted by chococat at 3:48 PM on May 2, 2010

This is one of the most mesmerizing songs I've ever heard. Your voice is wonderful, and delivered those lyrics in a way I never would have thought possible. And the Bebot totally worked!
posted by Corduroy at 11:21 PM on May 2, 2010

This is awesome. What's actually really nice about the spare arrangement--aside from the fact that we get to hear more of your voice, which is really great here--is that I'm left to imagine a whole arrangment of pedal steel and Hammond and, I don't know, maybe a choir or something. (If I were producing this song, I would ruin it.)
posted by uncleozzy at 6:36 AM on May 3, 2010

Wow. Thanks chaps. My head be swelling! Uncleozzy - I've got a recording of it from a few years back with violin and gentle drums on. It works quite nicely. The song seems to be best when it's on the edge of falling apart so it's really hard to record badly, I think.
posted by Jofus at 10:17 AM on May 3, 2010

Oh man, Bebot solo! I still haven't gotten that little guy into any recordings.
posted by cortex at 8:16 AM on May 5, 2010

awww. i heart this. and the solo is genius.
posted by peterkins at 3:00 PM on May 7, 2010

That Bebot solo was crazy great -- it reminded me of Pete Drake.
posted by Karlos the Jackal at 3:28 AM on May 11, 2010

« Older Paulina   |   Eight of January Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments