Getting Poison Ivy

A new one about memories of being young. And yeah, getting poison ivy is fun when you get it with your high school girlfriend out in the middle of a field when you're seventeen.

Getting Poison Ivy

My dreams and my hopes were floating in the deep blue sea
Up in the sky with a cloud and a feather, and a green fir tree
My eyes were open and wide in the middle of a bright blue day

If it could always be that way

I heard a giggle in the dew from a dribble of a Hawthorne flower
Caught in the glows of the light in the shivers of the sunrise hour
Off of the back of a turtle in the middle of a great green pond

Those stars shine on

My ice cream melts to a river in a sidewalk crack
As I was flown to the ends of the world in a grocery sack
When it all was a danger in the riddle of my younger days

That’s where I stay

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posted by Disbro (2 comments total)

That synth is so tasty.

Over all, I like the way this song is put together, from the timbres to the textures to the structure. Your voice is the element that doesn't quite seem to fit, though. That's a horrible thing to say, because, I mean, it's your voice, it's not like you can take it back to the store and pick up a different one. But you could probably find a way to thicken and enrich your timbre. Sing a couple of tones lower, or a bit more forcefully (more air from the belly, less clenching the throat), or just don't lean on the r so much and try using a darker l. 'Cause you kind of sound ... oh jeez, here's the part where I say something terrible again. You sound a little like a Muppet. And I wish you didn't. I think a rounder, fuller voice would really drop the last piece into place for this song.
posted by eritain at 7:55 PM on October 27, 2010

Thanks for the input! I'[m a hobbyist, so I don't have access to a lot of vocalists, but I may revisit the vocals.
posted by Disbro at 6:00 PM on October 29, 2010