My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles

February 26, 2011 2:07 AM

Also known as Zen and the Art of Going to the Lavatory, also by Grunthos the Flatulent, we present a second excerpt of Vogon Poetry, as we have imagined it.

According to reliable sources, during the initial performance of this work, in a desperate bid to save humanity, Grunthos' own major intestine jumped up the neck and throttled his brain thus killing him.

The synth here is actually a continuation of the exact same drone created in the previous track. Chaos generally ensues while fiddling with the data card, as the synthesizer suddenly starts to forget what it was doing.

Relax mind
Relax body
Relax bowels
Do not fall over.
You are a cloud.
You are raining.
Do not rain
While train
Is standing at a station.
Move with the wind.
Apologise where necessary.

posted by askmeaboutLOOM (2 comments total)

An English country house, circa 1920

Lord Grungeworthy is taking a bath. There's a knock on the bathroom door and a clearing of a throat. It's the butler, Wibble.

"Entah!" shouts Lord G

The door opens and Wibble enters, holding a hot-water bottle.

"What the blazes are you doing bringing that contraption in here Wibble?", says Lord G

"I am merely complying with your request, m'lud", says a puzzled Wibble

"What?" says Lord G "I don't recall asking for anything, Wibble"

"m'lud, I apologise if I have acted in an imperinent manner, but I distinctly heard you shout out a few moments ago "whataboutawaterbottlewibble"".

I offer no apologies for that lame old farting-in-the-bath gag. But it always makes me smile. :-)
posted by MajorDundee at 10:07 AM on February 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

"impertinent". "imperinent" is a French word meaning something to do with cheese. Probably.
posted by MajorDundee at 10:10 AM on February 27, 2011

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