Bright World

January 22, 2013 2:05 PM

This is a song I wrote for my nephew. It seems the poor kid is just going to have to grow up to like power-ballads...

posted by howfar (2 comments total)

I wouldn't dub this with the oft-pejorative title of power ballad! It's sweet and folky, and reminds me of Billy Bragg and maybe even a little bit Levellers.

My only criticism would be that you fall into the cliche trap occasionally with the lyrics - ending on "you keep me safe from harm" is just that little bit too vague for me, what harm? how? But that is just my personal preference.
posted by greenish at 7:26 AM on January 23, 2013

Clich├ęs themselves in lyrics don't bother me, but I think there's a good point about clarity there. Interesting question how to convey the sentiment better. The notion is that of moral harm, I think. In the end the song is meant to be a little fablish. About valuing what is of worth, rather than what immediately appeals. But I'm the song's subject as much as anything. Hence the "my romantic dreams" bit. A couple of other things that are personal to my nephew, too. But the thing is that the voice is meant to be self-critical, while finding something like redemption in love. I don't know if there is an elegant way to redraft the lyric to make that clearer, but this is only a first version so there's a good chance. Useful feedback, thanks!
posted by howfar at 9:29 AM on January 23, 2013

« Older Frank Lloyd Wright   |   jacaranda moon 4 - vampire deer Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments