Untitled Salt Lake Song (04.28.2015)

April 29, 2015 8:45 AM

A catchy tune about two guys who take a twin engine plane out for a joyride and crash into the Great Salt Lake. Proper title TBD.

Midnight salt-light glows over
Black Bluff, Flat Rock, stone’s throw
Clustered shorebirds doze low
Quilt of nocturne’s bed, sewn

In my autumn coat, under starshine
Instruments align in a bone-straight line

We alight at eventide
With Nox on her throne
And the last of evening’s light
Rolls over the globe
And we rise

Cruise the causeway, skirt of stone
Haunted Saltair’s ghost moans
Promontory fog rolls
Thick air triggers the glide slope

Then the systems choke on the decline
Nose and lake align in a bone-straight line

And the isles begin to climb
And the shoals bring no hope
In a blast of salt and brine
We’re home with St. Phorcys
For the night

(n.b.: I know Phorcys is a god, not a saint, but I liked the way it scanned.)

posted by mykescipark (6 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

I really like this. Such a nice melody. I'm going to listen to it again, immediately.

If you want any criticism, which is just thinking aloud really and just my taste, I think it could take adding another instrument in the chorus part, to lift it up, as the BVs at first aren't particularly dynamic. Whether that's a little bit of Hammond organ maybe... or an electric guitar countermelody... or even just a shaker. Whatever you've got.

When the aaahs come in in the second part of the chorus, it's so great. If you do add anything else in, keep them super high in the mix. They're the spine tingle bit.
posted by greenish at 3:39 AM on May 1, 2015

Also, on my third listen now, the melody hovers around a relatively small range of notes. With this in mind, perhaps you could treat it to a direct harmony part, on the final chorus say?

This is coming from someone who Doesn't Know When To Stop with vocal arrangements though, so pls take with pinch of salt.
posted by greenish at 3:41 AM on May 1, 2015

Thanks! To address your criticism, this is just a demo for "proof of concept" ... There is more instrumentation coming in the final version. The band line-up is pedal steel guitar, bass, percussion, and two lady singers (replacing my scratch tracks here), plus me on gtr/vox.
posted by mykescipark at 12:04 PM on May 1, 2015

This makes me feel some real feels man. Every part of this works in a really great way. If there's more to come, I can't wait to hear the full instrumentation.
posted by TheNegativeInfluence at 8:57 PM on May 4, 2015

I've gone in and added some bass and percussion to this one...

posted by mykescipark at 12:11 PM on May 27, 2015

The whole album is out now! [Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube (playlist)]
posted by mykescipark at 11:25 AM on October 5, 2018

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