Choc Cream-O-Land Jingle

November 18, 2015 6:54 AM

Sometimes you just get the urge to create a fake jingle for the chocolate milk you and your friends were weirdly devoted to in high school.

Originally conceived as a faux vintage jingle I "found on an old VHS tape from the early 90's." It was convincing enough that Cream-O-Land Dairy itself tweeted to me, asking if it was something I had made for them back in the day! I was going for a "questionably talented musicians in a poorly-run Long Island studio with bad grounding creating a song for local cable advertisement" aesthetic.


You're a go-getter type of kid
you're always on the move
and at the end of tough school day
you need something rich and smooth
a drink with protein and calcium
to help you grow up strong
something so delicious
it makes you smile all day long

(Choc Cream-O-Land) It's the chocolate-y bestest
(Choc Cream-O-Land) There's no way to contest this
It's a chocolate explosion in your mouth
what all your friends are talking about
Try making a lunch Frappé
with our portable Cream-O-Land milk frother, WOW
(Specially sized to fit in your lunchbox)

Girl: Boxed juice again for you, Billy?
Billy: Gosh! My mom just doesn't get it! What's in your lunchbox, Sally?
Sally: Duh! Choc Cream-O-Land, of course.

(Choc Cream-O-Land) Have a box with your buddies
(Choc Cream-O-Land) Shake it up it gets bubbly
Say hello to health
Say hello to milk
Choc Cream-O-Land

posted by grumpybear69 (11 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

Thanks! The wobble was done via the Wow & Flutter plugin by Interruptor. I also used the Korg M1 Legacy plugin for all sounds and added some manual tape hiss. The warble at the top of the track was manually applied with Ableton's Auto Filter and hand-drawn automation.
posted by grumpybear69 at 7:57 AM on November 18, 2015

This is absolutely brilliant! I've seen a few bands do punk/metal covers of real advert jingles in my time and my MeFi Music request for a particular jingle was fulfilled beautifully in a previous Challenge. What I'm saying is, this hits all the spots for me thematically (but also execution-wise), a bit like Metallica doing an advert to help viewers out with their Creeping Debt. The just-cheesy-enough voiceover in the middle is a great touch.
posted by comealongpole at 12:13 PM on November 20, 2015 [1 favorite]

Omg the middle-8 conversation killed me.
posted by greenish at 6:56 AM on November 23, 2015 [1 favorite]

Nice touch with the Seinfeld bass at the end. Reminds me of hearing the tail end of the Young and the Restless credit music at the start of my Star Trek: TNG VHS recordings.
posted by Beardman at 8:26 AM on November 25, 2015 [1 favorite]

Ahhh the hum. Well-done. Disturbing.
posted by uncleozzy at 8:10 AM on November 27, 2015 [1 favorite]

posted by ctmf at 10:16 PM on November 28, 2015 [1 favorite]

well, i guess i know what i'll be thinking about at work next time i'm inspecting cream-o-land milk cartons

oh, yes, i really do that
posted by pyramid termite at 5:41 PM on December 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

I used this as the outro track for this month's podcast! Really nicely, disconcertingly done, and ditto on the beauty of that little too-slow-to-stop-the-tape sting of Seinfeld at the end.

I thought the middle 8 was great as well, though I feel like there was maybe too little dialogue forced out over too long of a segment and so it felt sort of artificially spacey vs. how I'd otherwise imagine some scripted milk-commercial conversation between Radical Young Milk Enthusiasts to play out. Still kinda kills me, regardless.
posted by cortex at 5:53 PM on December 1, 2015 [1 favorite]

No way, Pyramid Termite! That's, uh, radical! Do you interact with the Cream-O-Land people at all? I'm legitimately interested to know if they have a museum / library / scrapbook of their packaging design through the years, because the 92-94 single-serve chocolate milk boxes were fantastic.

@Cortex: Thanks for putting it in the podcast, and also for being the first person to take a critical look at the pacing of the middle 8. My friend who played "Sally" (and was also a CCOL fan) delivered that spaced-out dialogue without any coaching. I didn't want to put too many words in there since it wouldn't have been authentic, but I agree that it feels weird, as does the "Hello, Milk!" at the end which sounds more like a horror movie demon than a group of energetic, chocolate-milk-drinking high school kids.

Incidentally, this (legitimately vintage) video came out during our rush of choco-fandom.
posted by grumpybear69 at 11:25 AM on December 2, 2015

no, i don't get to interact with them - and we make milk cartons for lots and lots of companies nationwide - they just happen to be one of them
posted by pyramid termite at 12:35 PM on December 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

Funny and clever, great FX. Feels closer to a song than a jingle since many jingles just say the name of the product and their slogan. Nice TV commercial hooks.
posted by AppleSeed at 7:36 PM on December 2, 2015 [1 favorite]

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