01 - cruelest month - vampire deer

April 7, 2020 3:45 PM

i guess you would call this my quarantine album - i call it solskifte, which means sun division - and in a lot of ways, not just seasonal, that's what seems to be going on - much more inside

on march 31, i got an email announcing that there was going to be an rpm challenge for april, in addition to the one in feb they have every year and i do albums for every year

on march 24, i had to leave work early because after lunch i felt like i was going to drop - i had been feeling some slightly annoying sinus trouble that i had thought was allergies, but i realized i had something worse

i didn't know if i was running a fever or not - i made a quick trip to the med center - i called first - and after a brief exam, i was told i had a low grade fever and was instructed to quarantine for 14 days - this was also something my company's new covid-19 policy demands, so there's no problem here and i even get partial compensation

so i spent the next few days trying to feel better - it wasn't until sunday that i was starting to feel that maybe i didn't have this bad thing - or that maybe in spite of being 62 with a few medical problems i was going to make it

meanwhile, my poor kid's stuck with me in the apartment and not real happy

well, this is long - but on april 1st, i decided to try coming up with new music and ended up writing some songs that are about how i felt about being in my apartment, sick, and wondering what would happen next

sometimes it's been warm enough to open up my window for a bit - and this is what i felt about that


calling on the wind to give me back my name
remembering an old world that used to seem tame
clouds outside my window never give us rain
i used to go out there but i won't do that again
in the cruelest month the birds eat seedlings
in the cruelest month i dare not confess my feelings
in the cruelest month the world is awry
tossing out its life like trash thrown aside

staring at the glass and wondering what i am
sense the blood within my body - still wondering what i am
my thoughts are like birds, but they never rise above
my feet are nailed onto the earth and i do not know love
in the cruelest month the birds eat seedlings
in the cruelest month i dare not confess my feelings
in the cruelest month the world is awry
tossing out its life like trash thrown aside

posted by pyramid termite (2 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

Hope you feel better soon.
posted by AppleSeed at 8:39 PM on April 8


well, i went back to work yesterday - life continues to be weird though, as does work

i still don't know if i had it or something else
posted by pyramid termite at 2:32 AM on April 9


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