Hey Google, My Town's in the Lake

For the last two months, people trying to look up Randolph Vermont on Google Maps have been directed to a dot in the middle of Lake Champlain, 100 miles from the town's actual location. I've tried pretty much everything to get them to fix it [sad details]. Now I'm trying this.

It's a first draft, I'll try to make a more polished one later. Guitar track by the always awesome not_on_display and some of the lyrics by my mom, the rest by me.

Hey, Google, my town’s in the lake.
Hey Google there's been a mistake
This is really surprising
The water's not rising
Dear Google, please give us a break

Hey, Google, my town’s in the drink.
Last summer it wasn’t I think.
My friends are confused.
And one even accused
Me of causing poor Randolph to sink.

Hey, Google, my town’s soaking wet.
The map shows us lakebound and yet
Some highways run through it
And trains choo-choo to it.
My neighbors are getting upset.

Hey Google, just what is the deal?
Hey Google just think how I feel
I can't give folks directions
I'm facing dejection
Hey Google my life is unreal.

*whistle*

Hey Google your data is crap
Hey Google I'm starting to snap.
We are not in North Hero
It's 0-5-0-6-ZERO
Hey Google please fix up your map

• play
• pause
• stop
• min volume
• max volume

posted by jessamyn (38 comments total)

I like how the guitar gets angrier and angrier.
posted by cashman at 8:25 PM on June 9, 2010

Please fix up your map. Doot-DOOT!
posted by ignignokt at 8:33 PM on June 9, 2010

Nice job! Doot-DOOT!
posted by ignignokt at 8:33 PM on June 9, 2010

That was excellent!
posted by abc123xyzinfinity at 8:47 PM on June 9, 2010

Epic.
posted by pjern at 8:57 PM on June 9, 2010

needs more cowbell
posted by terrapin at 8:58 PM on June 9, 2010

I'm waiting for Microsoft's Songsmith Bling ad reply!
posted by xorry at 9:00 PM on June 9, 2010

love it!
posted by youcancallmeal at 9:07 PM on June 9, 2010

That was excellent. A happy side to a very sad story of geographical incompetence. A bit shorter, but much better than, the semi-notorious '802 rap' about VT’s area code.

My favorite VT computer map story involves MapQuest, in the days before Google Maps existed — I asked it how to get from our house in Bar Harbor on the Maine coast to my brother's place in the very VT hamlet of Maple Corner.

First step, it said, go downtown and catch the CAT ferry for Nova Scotia. Then drive along the province's northern shore until you get to where you can turn back to the west.

It's long been fixed, but that trip, their way, turned out to be 800 or 900 miles, as opposed to the more usual 295.
posted by LeLiLo at 9:09 PM on June 9, 2010

Nice job! Now all you need is the viral YouTube video accompaniment.
posted by turtlegirl at 9:55 PM on June 9, 2010

Whistling the bridge was brilliant.
posted by dhartung at 10:29 PM on June 9, 2010

I enjoyed this song and will be adding Doot-DOOT to the end of every sentence I speak today.

Doot-DOOT
posted by Jofus at 12:29 AM on June 10, 2010

Ha, I love the delivery.

A couple of years ago, driving back from Montreal, we stopped in Burlington for lunch and beer, and set the GPS for the drive home. I didn't look at the proposed route, and we just started driving.

It's pouring rain, and I don't know where I am, and I look over, trying to see which lane I should be in for the next turn, and instead of a turn arrow, it's an icon I don't recognize.

"What's the next turn," I ask. "Check the written directions, see what that icon means."

"I think it wants us to get on a ferry."

Thanks, Tom-Tom. You warn me about toll roads, but not about putting my car on a boat? So we pull into a gas station and re-route around the ferry, but at this point, Tom-Tom is just mad at us for not following its directions, and somehow routes us through some very serious Deliverance-type stuff. I'm still not sure how that happened.

Doot-DOOT
posted by uncleozzy at 6:19 AM on June 10, 2010 [2 favorites]

Activism!
Love it.
posted by chococat at 7:09 AM on June 10, 2010

That was awesome. I've been following your saga on the Twitters and it's nice to see it put to music.

You should put together a YouTube video and with a bit of work we could make it as viral as that song about United breaking that guy's guitar.
posted by bondcliff at 7:11 AM on June 10, 2010

My wife's multiple-great grandfather lived in Randolph until he famously loaded his family on an ox-cart and moved to Wisconsin. Maybe he saw this day coming.
posted by These Premises Are Alarmed at 7:20 AM on June 10, 2010 [2 favorites]

These lyrics are funny and cute.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:57 AM on June 10, 2010

Downloaded to the kids' mix.
posted by lysdexic at 2:49 PM on June 10, 2010

Sneak preview for thread commenters. I finished the video.
posted by jessamyn at 6:43 PM on June 10, 2010 [1 favorite]

I like the dissolve from the pool to the Maps Pin of Randolph in the middle of the lake.
But I wanted more Jessamyn-in-GoogleMaps footage.
posted by chococat at 7:19 PM on June 10, 2010

Oh my god. The video. With the video of you reacting to the Google. Oh my god. I heart you so very much.
posted by desuetude at 11:13 PM on June 10, 2010

I hope that this ends up on the compilation put together by whoever the 22nd century equivalent of Harry Smith turns out to be.
posted by Karlos the Jackal at 4:16 AM on June 11, 2010 [2 favorites]

Totally enjoyed that. Somewhere between Baby Snooks meets Hello Muddah Hello Fadda in Google-maps-lost-its-compass land.
posted by nickyskye at 9:10 AM on June 11, 2010

! [ + ] !
posted by The Whelk at 9:22 AM on June 11, 2010

Ha, I just noticed that the structure of the meter is limmerick.

It's a first draft, I'll try to make a more polished one later.

Nah, you'll maybe never catch it quite right again. Unpolished fits it quite well.
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:32 AM on June 12, 2010

Nah, you'll maybe never catch it quite right again.

Probably true, and they have now fixed the problem apparently!
posted by jessamyn at 7:56 AM on June 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

BEHOLD THE RISEN CITY OF RANDOLF
posted by The Whelk at 8:11 AM on June 12, 2010 [2 favorites]

Oh man, I'm finally just hearing this. Great, great, great. Well done, you two.

I'm tempted to do an uptempo grar rock cover just for kicks, like 45 seconds long or something.
posted by cortex at 8:31 AM on June 12, 2010

and they have now fixed the problem apparently!

Results-oriented songwriting.
posted by Devils Rancher at 10:03 AM on June 12, 2010 [1 favorite]

jessamyn, what a treat it is to hear you sing! Thanks for sharing this!
posted by snsranch at 4:11 PM on June 13, 2010

cortex: "I'm tempted to do an uptempo grar rock cover just for kicks, like 45 seconds long or something."

Appropos of nothing, I would heartily support a "cover cortex" MeFi Music Challenge.
posted by l33tpolicywonk at 9:43 PM on June 13, 2010

Probably true, and they have now fixed the problem apparently!

Hooray for the power of this catchy song!

I'm with Devils Rancher -- I like the jaunty energy of the "unpolished" performance a lot. And when just listening to the mp3, I very much enjoy the whistled solo, but I agree that your reactions in the video during said solo are brilliant and add a whole new Dimension O' Fun. Thanks for sharing both the mp3 (nice filename, BTW) and the video.
posted by rangefinder 1.4 at 10:43 PM on June 13, 2010

Now with less comprehensibility!
posted by cortex at 4:08 PM on June 15, 2010

Love it!
posted by MaiaMadness at 11:41 AM on June 16, 2010

doot-DOOT!
posted by not_on_display at 2:08 PM on December 2, 2011

Ha! I was talking about this just the other day -- we were trying to find a restaurant and my wife had put faith in Google maps, but it wasn't in the spot where the google pin said it was. She was saying "Surely it's right here... Google maps says..." No, not so surely. At least we didn't drive into Lake Travis - it was just on the other side of the freeway, down about 1/4 of a mile.

Hey google, Hoover's north store is gone
Hey google, which side of 183 is it on?
(&c.)

Also, I did not know music posts stayed open forever.
posted by Devils Rancher at 8:38 PM on December 2, 2011

Also, I did not know music posts stayed open forever.

This is one of the best features of Metafilter Music.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:24 PM on December 2, 2011

Yay!
posted by jessamyn at 9:37 PM on December 2, 2011