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I wanted to write a song with only (or mostly) four chords, and I ended up with something about the inaccuracies of memory.

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posted by NemesisVex (4 comments total)

I like this song, but the high note in the chorus hook is a huge problem—it's warbly and a full semitone flat every single time, which is incredibly distracting to listen to.

I suspect you're pushing the top of your range there. Dangerous territory—you need to determine if it's possible, and if so whether it's worth it. Dropping a half- or full-step to accomodate the less strained areas of your vocal range is a really, really good idea when you bump up against that sort of wall. And it's a good composition aside from that. If you want to do the work, I'd heartily recommend you rerecord in a lower key and nail that chorus.
posted by cortex at 10:35 AM on August 14, 2006

I did make a gamble with this song. I experimented with changing the key of the entire song, but I didn't like the way that first diminished chord sounded in other keys -- something about it felt right in that particular key. But the original meldoy (instrumental version here) ended up too low for my range. So I shift the starting point of the melody and adjusted a few notes to accomodate.

That top note is actually clashing with the bass -- Eb in the bass, E in the melody. I kept in there because I liked how uncomfortable it made me feel.

The best solution, though, would be to find an actual singer who can hit that note.
posted by NemesisVex at 11:17 AM on August 14, 2006

Well, go intentional dissonance, then. :) Got to hit that note harder and cleaner, though, so we know that you mean it.
posted by cortex at 11:20 AM on August 14, 2006

I really really like the song - no joke. At first I had a problem with the intentional dissonance (usually I'm a huge fan of dissonance, but there's a line where it just doesn't make sense and is distracting and uncomfortable for the listener), but the more I listened to it the more I liked it.

One way to make the dissonance work more cleanly (if that's not an oxymoron) would be to include the dissonant note(s) in the accompaniment as well as the vocals.

My only other problem in general was the singing. The soft, dry singing works really well with the musical style and with the subject matter, but a lot of notes (not just the high ones) I thought were a little off pitch. Maybe listening to a track with just the vocal line plunked out on piano might help you sing it more confidently (since the instrumental track is pretty sparse).

Great song, though!
posted by Zephyrial at 7:31 PM on August 22, 2006