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Critters Are Food

September 20, 2012 8:13 AM

Einstein is reported to have said, "Nothing will benefit human health and increase the chances for survival of life on earth as much as the evolution to a vegetarian diet." This song presents a counterargument. Warning: may be offensive to critters.

Like I said yesterday, I'm a fingerstyle guitarist who cares nothing for proper audio engineering techniques. A link to more info about my musical endeavors can be found in my profile. Lyrics are below. We thank you for your valuable time.

posted by Sing Or Swim (2 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

Critters are food.
They're found in nature, in the nude.
They can be fricasseed or stewed,
then either swallowed whole or chewed.
And maybe they were begging us for mercy when they mooed,
But the mooers were subdued
and subsequently used for food.

Critters are meat.
They're found in nature--which is neat!
They're little steaklings in the making;
for escaping, they've got feet.
And maybe they're communicatin' when they whinny, bark, and bleat,
But they taste so very sweet that every one got used as meat.

I know there's some who'll disagree
But your protein deficiency
Only means there's more for me...
There's more for me!

(Solo, with kazoo this time. Gyrate with abandon.)

I know there's some who'll prob'ly say
'Let the happy creatures play'
Looks to me like a buffet
Like a buffet!

Critters are food.
They're found in nature, in the nude.
They can be fricasseed or stewed
then either swallowed whole or chewed.
And maybe they were begging us for mercy when they mooed,
but you can't live on KIBBLE
so it's incontrover-TIBLE
that critters
are food.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 8:19 AM on September 20, 2012


This is brilliant.
posted by topoisomerase at 4:53 PM on September 28, 2012


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