Circus
February 14, 2009 9:28 AM
Bare bones demo of a song I'm working on about the circus. Thoughts would be appreciated.
posted by jhighmore (4 comments total)
posted by jhighmore (4 comments total)
Love this, good job!
I thought the pause in the second verse, after the "The circus is back, but just for one night" line, was a little awkward. Maybe it was because I was following along with the lyrics, though.
posted by Relic at 6:06 PM on February 14, 2009
I thought the pause in the second verse, after the "The circus is back, but just for one night" line, was a little awkward. Maybe it was because I was following along with the lyrics, though.
posted by Relic at 6:06 PM on February 14, 2009
I think this has a lot of potential. I like the rhythm of the guitar. I'm wondering if maybe you could squeeze some more melodic drama out of the 3rd/4th line in each verse. The 1st and 2nd lines have a clear melody that I feel your voice believes in. The next two lines, I almost feel like they want to go somewhere slightly different -- hit one different note in there, or something.
Maybe I'm projecting. I go through that a lot when I write my songs (and then rarely act on it, probably to my detriment).
posted by edlundart at 5:36 PM on February 17, 2009
Maybe I'm projecting. I go through that a lot when I write my songs (and then rarely act on it, probably to my detriment).
posted by edlundart at 5:36 PM on February 17, 2009
I like it, and it definitely has a circus quality to it. Since you mention it's still a demo and you might still be considering where to take it, I'll link to what is in my mind the inevitable reference for circus sound in rock: Mano Negra's Soledad. Hope it helps.
posted by micayetoca at 6:49 AM on March 2, 2009
posted by micayetoca at 6:49 AM on March 2, 2009
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Ladies and gentlemen come gather round
The circus is back, it's back here it town
See the old woman with the bearded face
The chorus girls are pretty and they're all dressed in lace
Just for your
Entertainment
Ladies and gentlemen come see the sights
The circus is back, but just for one night
See the ringmaster with the two glass eyes
We found him in Moscow, drinking cheap wine
Just for your
Entertainment
Lions and tigers and lies and illusions
Odd looking figures with elephant protrusions
Just for your
Entertainment
The monkeys, the dwarves, the clowns and the rats
The laughs and the smiles, the thrills and the frights
Waiting for you beneath the spotlight
Waiting 'til the time is right
Just for your
Entertainment
Lions and tigers and lies and illusions
Odd looking figures with elephant protrusions
Lions and tigers and lies and illusions
Odd looking figures with elephant protrusions
Just for your
Entertainment
Just for your
Entertainment
Ladies and gentlemen see it all here
But time's running out so stay and cheer
And we'll pack up if you're tied down
So come to our show, get a smile from a frown
Lions and tigers and lies and illusions
Odd looking figures with elephant protrusions
Just for your
Entertainment
posted by jhighmore at 9:42 AM on February 14, 2009