rmtcntrl.fku2

June 25, 2010 3:31 PM

19842010

rmtcntrl.fku2

I can block you.
I can stop you.
I can make you or break you,
By remote control.
You are powerless.
You are weak.
You are in my grip.
I’m remote control.

I am the sans serif typescript on your screen.
Blank.
Pseudonymous.
I’m the ghost in your machine.
I am feted and courted by a cyber entourage,
I’m a tin god of the cursor,
I’m Mammon writ large.

And I love me.

I can block you.
I can stop you.
I can make you or break you,
By remote control.
You are powerless.
You are weak.
You are in my grip.
I’m remote control.

From my electronic ramparts I survey the eager hordes
Clamouring for attention,
I’m studiously bored.
I am unavailable,
Unassailable,
Unaccountable,
Untouchable,
And if you cross me,
You won’t last long.

‘cause I love me.

I can block you.
I can stop you.
I can make you or break you,
By remote control.
You are powerless.
You are weak.
You are in my grip.
I’m remote control.

Don’t displease me, tease me or fuck me off.
My mouse is a machine gun,
And I’m the boss.
Just remember it’s me who’ll judge your relative cool,
Sitting with my dick in hand on a little wooden stool.

posted by MajorDundee (16 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

Where the fuck did this dark side come from? I love it. Reminds me of some of the stuff Bowie did in the mid '90s with his heavy Trent Reznor/NIN influence. Top-hole, spiffing, wot.
posted by askmeaboutLOOM at 3:54 PM on June 25, 2010


Thanks for that LOOM.

Well.....it's a bit of a personal epiphany actually. Musically I'd entered a cul-de-sac and I was a bit lost. I knew I needed to forge a "voice" - a new identity - somehow or other, because I was going nowhere. The epiphany was realising that through music I could exorcise all my emotional shit. Music isn't just for the "nice" feelings. I got really pissed off about my treatment at the hands of a website - or, more accurately, the people in charge of the website. Rather than just feeling impotent rage, I consciously decided to write a song about it. So, unusually for me, I wrote the lyric with no idea at all of a melody for it. This is the result. It's a kind of anger management I guess! My normal way of releasing stress is through hard exercise (cycling in my case). So now I have another method.....

It's strange that I anticipated the Bowie comparisons. But I only had that thought after the track was finished. I don't think it's like anything that Bowie's done (so far as I'm aware) but it somehow sounds like something he might have done. Sometime between The Man Who Sold The World and Station To Station perhaps. Which is both a good and not-so-good thing, given my quest for a new "voice". Perhaps we never can fully escape our seminal influences.....
posted by MajorDundee at 4:29 PM on June 25, 2010


The Bowie comparison I had, in particular, was his stuff from 1. Outside, when he was doing a lot of improv/stream of consciousness, and mixing with a lot of influence from Nine Inch Nails (they actually toured together on the Outside tour). It's not wholly either, but there are elements, and that's a good thing. Elements of it, while still completely your own.

Great minds don't think alike; they reach mutual conclusions, independently.
posted by askmeaboutLOOM at 4:42 PM on June 25, 2010


Never heard "Outside", but thanks anyway! As for great minds... I would never consider myself in the same universe as The Duke, musically or any other "...ally". I'm just a guitar player who can, now and then, come up with a half-decent idea or tune. David Bowie.....he's something else.
posted by MajorDundee at 5:26 PM on June 25, 2010


nice. really well produced too - and extra points for the whistling.

Just remember it’s me who’ll judge your relative cool,
Sitting with my dick in hand on a little wooden stool.


ouch.
posted by peterkins at 6:11 PM on June 25, 2010


How did you KNOW I had my dick in my hand?
posted by unSane at 6:34 PM on June 25, 2010 [1 favorite]


Music isn't just for the "nice" feelings. Damn right. That's why I'm a punker at heart. It's really nice...and one of the reasons I love MefiMusic, to hear something so unexpected and different. Good show man!
posted by snsranch at 6:56 PM on June 25, 2010


I like those multi-tracked vocals, and that menacing low keyboard drone that starts with the 2nd verse is cool too.

Geez, the whole thing sounds great. Your production skills are supersweet.
posted by Karlos the Jackal at 11:54 PM on June 25, 2010


Thanks all. I'm particulary pleased that no-one has raised any criticism about the relative lack of drums/percussion on this. I've had some - perfectly justified - criticism on previous tracks about "canned drums". Using real drums simply isn't feasible for me. And that can either be perceived as a severe limitation and source of frustration/disenchantment, or as a challenge to be got round and which forces a change of direction. "Necessity is the mother of invention" etc. I've chosen the latter course. I think from now the only time I shall use "drums" is in the sense of not trying to make obviously fake percussion sound like it isn't. Because that just isn't working at all. So.........all things considered, a positive result from this one even though it's actually a really nasty song.

unSane - lol. That line is a bit clumsy I guess. But, hey, there it is - on to the next one. Actually........I have another "angry" lyric written at the same time that I've no tune for. This one is more humorous (but still very pissed off). I shall have a go at a tune for it myself in due course but if anyone wants to try something on for size, be my guest.

My Boss Is …..

a 6’ 4” streak of piss
who gives responsibility a miss.
Just half a chance, he’ll pass the buck,
the man - he just don’t give a fuck.

He’s sliding up that greasy pole
and shitting on those down below,
oblivious to his one-man farce
‘cause his head’s right up his boss’ arse.

I must be plain
I must be blunt
My boss is…..a cunt.

With swept-back hair
and wingnut ears,
his bloodshot eyes make him appear
for all the world to have the look
of a rodent in a pinstripe suit.

This rat is crawling up the drain,
dispensing stress, creating strain.
His empty smile and plastic charm
do little more than raise alarm

for the hapless sod who bears the brunt.
My boss is….. a cunt.

His soft-top car with personal plates
was won by gambling at high stakes.
His wife has gone, he smells of booze
he thrives on bullshit and abuse.

This wanker seems to have the knack
of always covering his back,
of fooling those in high position,
these stupid twats think he has vision.

But for the grunts,
the sorry rump,
all we see is….. a cunt.
posted by MajorDundee at 1:58 AM on June 26, 2010


LOL @ cunty lyrics

MD, re drums what I have done is to use some really nice sounding drum samples (eg the Drumwerks ones, or the ones that come with Logic or Battery). Basically a nice live sounding kit with lots of velocity layers. Then I play in the drum part manually on a keyboard, using the same techniques a real drummer would ie respecting how many hands they have, and doing rolls with different samples for the left and right hand and so on. I literally bought a beginner's 'learn to drum' book and taught myself from that.

I tend to put the kick and snare down first, then the hihats, then any snare rolls, then finally toms and cymbals.

Then I go through the drum track and manually correct any egregious errors, and tighten up the timing which is usually very sloppy, using maybe a 50% quantize. If I manually write in any parts, I humanize them so that you don't get the machine-gun hi-hats.

Finally, I split out the drum kit onto different channels (in Logic you can create a multi instrument that outputs to different auxes but you can simply create duplicate instruments if that isn't an option) and compress/eq them again like you would a real drum kit.

The only thing I record live is a tambourine, which is complete PITA to program and is also fun to do.

I wouldn't say I get GREAT drum tracks but they are good enough to fool a casual listener. A lot of my songs push the first beat of every phrase onto the last eighth note of the previous bar (eg OUTTA HERE which I just posted, where the whole chorus is like that). A standard loop would have sounded *terrible* there with the bass drum hitting late on every phrase but I was able to play something that shifted it and thus sounded fine.
posted by unSane at 4:32 AM on June 26, 2010


(oh yeah, and finally the auxes all get bussed to a drum channel where I add in any ambience and can ride the overall level).
posted by unSane at 4:33 AM on June 26, 2010


Thanks for that unSane - I had a quick listen to your track and you have a good "live" sound there - so if that's what you're talking about I'm up for taking a shot at it. My problem is basically that I don't record on computers as such. I use a Yamaha AW2400. I'm an old git, and I ilke to push faders and stuff. However.....the Yam can operate Cubase remotely, so maybe (just maybe) if I get hold of the software your talking about there may be a way of making this work that doesn't involve fucking around with a mouse and virtual faders etc. Cheers!

Oh and Peterkins - I forgot mate that you work in the IT world. Absolutely no offence intended with that lyric. It's just a rant and not really to be taken overly seriously. Sorry again if it pissed you off.
posted by MajorDundee at 4:42 AM on June 26, 2010


I use a Behringer BCF2000 to ride faders and pan pots if you can't get multi outs from your PC.
posted by unSane at 4:53 AM on June 26, 2010


oh no! there was none taken. the ouch was at the scabrousness of the lyric. i didn't take it personally! now of course, i'm having second thoughts...:-)

regarding drum tracks i think unsane's are really good - it's hard to get machines or samples to sound halfway decent with anything that isn't hip hop or electronica etc. the nice thing about the drums on this track is that they're kind of textural rather than functional, if you see what i mean. and they're not pretending to sound like real drums either. and to echo karlos, that low drone is a nice touch.
posted by peterkins at 4:57 AM on June 26, 2010


(a bit of slop in one of the drum parts really helps. Like on OUTTA HERE the toms and ride are all over the place, but it sounded much better like that then when they were tight)
posted by unSane at 5:36 AM on June 26, 2010


Oh and Peterkins - I forgot mate that you work in the IT world. Absolutely no offence intended with that lyric. It's just a rant and not really to be taken overly seriously. Sorry again if it pissed you off.

As do I, and man vs sun. Trust me, there's no offense to be taken, as long as you know that you're better than the type of person who would find themselves the subject of this song. I'm pretty certain that anyone who works in the IT realm and isn't a cunt knows someone who likely fits this song to a T. I can certainly think of a few, and that's part of what makes it so appealing to me.
posted by askmeaboutLOOM at 6:54 AM on June 26, 2010


« Older Summertime Blues   |   Sugar, Sugar Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments