Quit Hogging All The Crazy (It's My Birthday)

April 26, 2011 2:41 PM

An appeal to President Obama, because I'm tired of him getting all the good nutters.

After one too many birth certificate jokes today, I got an idea for a song, and wrote it out and recorded this afternoon, and I'm pretty happy with it, and that's a pretty good birthday.

posted by cortex (13 comments total) 21 users marked this as a favorite

Lyrics:

How come no one gives a shit
About my birth certificate
I mean, what do I have to get elected to?
How come no one seems to care
About my from whom or my from where
Why's it always got to be about you you you

You think you're special just because
You get all the birthday buzz

Come on Mr. President
Quit hogging all the crazy
Come on Mr. President
Don't bogart the loons

Yeah I know you worked real hard
For all those nutters in the White House yard
But it's my birthday
Can't they send me some balloons?

How come no one gives me ire
About the color of my sires?
Or religion! Mom's a Catholic, Dad's a Jew!
How come no one gets upset
That they haven't seen my long form yet?
I could be from Mars! But no they'd rather talk about you

I bet you think that you're god's gift
To wingnut call-in talkshow grift

Come on Mr. President
Quit hogging all the crazy
Come on Mr. President
Please share the whackadoos

Yeah I know they've gone insane
Because your middle name's Hussein
But it's my birthday
Can't I have some birthers too

(Just three or four. Come on.
You know, I did once take a cruise
That entered Canadian waters.
Briefly.
Oh, oh! I went to Oktoberfest one time!
That's in Europe!
And, and, how do you know
I wasn't born there?)

Come on Mr. President
Quit hogging all the crazy
Come on Mr. President
Don't hold out on that
actually really disturbingly large
percentage of the American population

Yeah I know that they'll insist
That if you share then you're a Socialist
But it's my birthday
Can't you help a voter out?
It's my birthday
Can't there be some crazy unfounded doubt?
It's my birthday
Can't you make Glenn Beck freak out?

How come no one gives a shit
About my birth certificate
Do I have to run for office too?

posted by cortex at 2:43 PM on April 26, 2011 [6 favorites]


And to think I felt guilty for injecting partisan (?) humor on your Facebook page. I take partial responsibility for (inspiring) this gem.

(Literally) well-played, sir.
posted by joe lisboa at 3:25 PM on April 26, 2011


Don't worry, crazy is a renewable resource. Along with dirt and stupidity, we'll never run out!

LOVED "bogarting the loons". My new goal in life is to find a way to work that into a conversation.
posted by Quietgal at 4:48 PM on April 26, 2011 [1 favorite]


Way to go man! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!11!!!
posted by snsranch at 4:53 PM on April 26, 2011


I fell out of my chair. Well done, sir!
posted by pjern at 7:38 PM on April 26, 2011


Haha Nicely done...I was just talking about this subject and you song-i-fi-ed it :) 2 Funny!
posted by american caesar at 8:19 PM on April 26, 2011


CORTEX FOR PRESIDENT 2016
posted by maqsarian at 9:51 PM on April 26, 2011


Happy B.Day, you improve with age.
posted by waviolet at 11:18 PM on April 26, 2011


Longtime Louden Wainwright III fan sez: do you take this on the road? I'd pay cash money!
posted by likeso at 3:03 AM on April 27, 2011


man
posted by Sailormom at 9:05 AM on April 27, 2011


This really needs a video.
posted by zennie at 10:10 AM on April 27, 2011


I love this (and happy belated birthday)!
posted by sleepinglion at 12:37 PM on April 27, 2011


This was delightful. Thanks for sharing!
posted by dragonplayer at 6:27 PM on April 27, 2011


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