crashing is not safe

I got in a car crash about a month back. No one got hurt but it was still kind of scary (I had my 13 month old in the car and she was screaming and crying) and afterwards, it was really depressing/distressing. It was really hard to get to work and I couldn't go anywhere and then there's the money I had to borrow to fix the car.

It ended up being kind of alright, although I got in another car wreck like 2 weeks ago again. I think I'm getting used to it.

Anyway, the night I got in the first wreck, I came home and stayed up all night with weird nervousness, like an unsettled feeling...safety lost, the status quo upset, etc...

I ended up writing this song. It's not really cohesive as a song. I was just venting. I think it helped. So I think this one is about when things seem fine and good at one moment but then kind of start to spiral out of control the next moment, just enough for you to lose that feeling of safety and comfort and feel uneasy and wonder if things will ever just get back to the way they were before, and then you start to question all of your decisions that day and then your life decisions overall maybe, and you start thinking about all of your problems overall and how the hell are you going to be able to pull it all together in the end?, will it ever be alright?, etc...

But then you just embrace the chaos and enjoy riding out the storm. In the end you find your centre again hopefully.

This is just guitar rock mostly and of course instrumental.

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posted by cicadaverse