A Grand Unslam

August 7, 2020 1:40 PM

More music about Blaseball, this time the story of the time Morrow Doyle hit a grand slam in the 15th inning and shattered the universe. Time went backward, the play got erased by timelords, and the Shoe Thieves and their Event-sharing rivals Breath Mints have played one more game than the rest of the league, a game lost in an alternate branch of reality.

posted by cortex (5 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite


The game went long, it was
the Shoe Thieves and the Mints
All the fielders were
wearing holes right through their mitts

Top of the fifteenth, there was
thirteen runs on either side
Thieves got a threefer, you could
feel something inside, inside of you

As Morrow Doyle stepped up to the plate
with bases loaded like a dinner plate
and hit the ball so hard it shattered fate
(and the commissioner's doing great)

It flew so high that it broke the sky
It flew so fine that it undid time
It was a Grand Unslam
It was a Grand Unslam

posted by cortex at 1:45 PM on August 7, 2020 [2 favorites]

We needed more soft rock Dadaist stuff like this on the radio back in 1973. Thanks for making this!
posted by not_on_display at 3:34 PM on August 13, 2020

For posterity, Morrow "Doc" Doyle was swapped by Feedback to the Boston Flowers for Hotbox Sato in Season 4, Game 58.
posted by cortex at 6:20 PM on August 26, 2020

Doc has since, while I was sleeping, been incinerated outright. I choose to believe they found their way through the hole they made in the sky.
posted by cortex at 7:17 AM on August 29, 2020

also i am glad to know it's pronounced "b'lace-ball" instead of "Blasé Ball."
posted by not_on_display at 9:00 PM on August 30, 2020

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