Workman 9 to 5

August 5, 2020 11:17 AM

A little bit of a song about Charleston Shoe Thieves player Workman Gloom, their dog and teammate (and Shoe Thieves pitcher) Beasley Gloom, and the life that is stealing shoes and playing blaseball.

Lyrics:

tumble outta bed and stumble to the closet
sleepwalk stole some shoes to deposit
pick some kicks and start to shuck and jive

pour out a bowl of kibble for Beasley
lace their uniform up real easily
take the field and hope that they survive

workman 9 to 5
blaseball like you've never seen it
hits a nice line drive
runs the bases, eats a peanut
when the sun won't shine
Gloom will be the light to lead us
It's enough if we can
rip off some ADIDAS

workman 9 to 5
the commiss'ners doin' a great job
Charleston will contrive
to pull off a massive shoe rob...

posted by cortex (4 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

The commish is doing great, and so are you.
posted by kaibutsu at 5:26 PM on August 7


Noting for the record that early in season 4, in the middle of game 28 or so, Workman Gloom was suddenly swapped to the Canada Moist Talkers by a Feedback Event and replaced by Joe Voorhees. We'll miss you, Workman. Your dog Beasley most of all. Come back when you can, and bring shoes.
posted by cortex at 4:20 PM on August 25


Workman Gloom, having been made Unstable by the wild-pitch contagion of recent subject of necromancy Jaylen Hotdogfingers, was incinerated in season 7, game 81. Rest in violence, Workman.
posted by cortex at 6:59 PM on September 17


Seems to me that you are one song away from completing a workman gloom trilogy, if we count 'don't bean my man' as party of the story.
posted by kaibutsu at 8:09 AM on September 18


« Older Mirrorball   |   A Grand Unslam Newer »

You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments