May 7, 2013 11:56 AM

This is perhaps one of Ummagma's darker moments, but as the song proceeds, it lets more and more light in. There is a moral to this story, like it or not, but the soundtrack to go with it makes it that much easier to swallow. :)

Have you asked yourself now just how well
You understand our human nature
Hard to find the answer when we’ve become
far estranged from mother nature
And we end up killing the life that
we can’t sustain ourselves without
You know we’re so intent on filling our pockets
Just cannot help but cast all doubts upon all
All our facts and fictions
We’ve gotta sort heads from tails
‘Cuz this is not a game
And we’re in need of rules for living
Or an intervention
We lost the race
Just as soon as we began to take
More than what we end up giving

And all’s for sale
Just read the signs
And our decay means
it’s time to say
It’s high time to change our ways
From faking its great
Not gonna take, not gonna take
Damage done
Now time for healing

Hear the sighs from heaven
Hear the sighs right here
Feel the wave that’s coming
Not gonna take not gonna take not
Damage done, now time for healing

(and if you like this song, you very well might like this and this too)

posted by Brodyaga (2 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

I'm not sure if you're looking for "feedback" per se, if not ignore me, if so read on...

The sound that you've got going is great, excellent production, great atmosphere, great vocalist. That's why I think it's worth pointing out that your song does a lot lyrically, but not a whole lot musically. It strikes me as the kind of song where the words were probably written first, and then the music was written underneath it. If your goal is to write memorable, accessible pop tunes, I'd suggest focusing more on melody, getting a really solid tune, then writing your words to fit that. This song's melody is very inconsequential, I just listened to the whole thing and if you asked me to sing any of it back to you, I wouldn't be able to. The words are lovely, and again, the sound is lovely as well. The only thing missing is a solid melody.

I wouldn't go as far as to say that there are too MANY words, I know you probably work hard on the words and that comment would be useless to you. However, the song does sound extremely "wordy". There are ways to pace out lyrical content this dense that would be a little more musical.

Maybe your other songs aren't quite like this, or "wordy" is just what you're going for, and that's fine. I'm simply reacting to what I hear. It's the kind of thing maybe nobody pointed out to you before, oftentimes when people listen to my music they're just like, "Nice, good job!" and don't tell me things I actually need to hear.
posted by drmadrigal at 11:50 PM on May 15, 2013

Beautiful, but I would have liked more bass. Also I would like a longer piece. Seems like it's over all too soon. Personally, I don't care if the melody is unmemorable. It didn't hurt My Bloody Valentine.
posted by The Seeds of Autumn at 12:51 AM on May 30, 2013

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